Update

Hi everyone, if you haven’t read them yet, please go back over the past few newsletters and read Moron. His journey will continue next week. It helps me when I hear back from you on likes/dislikes so please message me privately or comment on here if you don’t know how to contact me.

I haven’t been able to write because I recently moved from London back to Boston and have been drunk for two weeks and the two weeks before that.

Apartment hunting was a nightmare. I had the pleasure of viewing one unit where the current tenants cuddled on their couch as the agent showed us around. Another place smelled like trash and had what I can only describe as triple carpeting. I know that’s not a thing but it was so carpety that it seemed like someone called a store and said “give me three carpets on top of each other please”. Another apartment was behind an old witch’s home, one you had to solve a riddle to get by, and then the apartment itself was directly on top of a construction site. Imagine the photo of the guys sitting on the beam eating their lunches and that the beam is so close to your bedroom window they’re spitting pieces of lettuce on top of you. These all cost 48,000 dollars a day to live in.

Finally, in the only logical decision I could think of, I decided to move in with my mail man. Okay, that wasn’t my plan, but I went to view a great apartment and the landlord turned out to be my former mailman and now I will live underneath him. I remember thinking when I was a child, one day I hope to live with the postman, and now I do.

I started a new job today (astronaut, I’m in space typing this right now) so it’s been a busy past month or so. But hang in there, you’ll get some more shitty writing soon.